Revenge of the Roach! Read online

  Fred accepted one of the colorful video game boxes.

  “What are you doing?” Eugene asked.

  “We won’t know what it does unless we play it,” Fred said.

  Eugene realized his friend was right. So he took a free video game too.

  Then he heard Cornelius C. Roach’s voice behind him. “Give him one for his little sister too.” And the Dungs did just that.

  Free or not, Super Fly had no intention of giving that villain’s game to Elle. So while Fred played Butterfly Bombers for several hours, Eugene studied Elle’s copy under a microscope.

  Eugene worked so long he forgot his friend was still in the diaper. “Didn’t you go home?” he asked. Fred did not answer. He just kept dropping colorful bombs as he swooped through a rainbow with his brilliant wings.

  Eugene looked at the clock. Fred had played for seven hours straight!

  Super Fly offered his sidekick “Cocoa? Marshmallows? A quick trip to the moon?”

  Fred never took his eyes off the screen. Super Fly sighed. This could be a problem.

  King of the School

  The next day, Brown Barge Elementary buzzed with news of a special election.

  “Vote for Cornelius!” cried Adam Aphid.

  “Root for the roach!” chanted Grace Grasshopper.

  An ant named Andy exclaimed, “Let’s make Cornelius C. Roach student-body president!”

  The gathered bugs cheered.

  Eugene felt stunned. “We already have a student-body president!”

  Super Fly waited for common sense to win.

  Instead, Fred said, “Vote for Cornelius!”

  During lunch, Fred tried to explain his sudden desire to elect the Crazy Cockroach. “I just feel this impulse to glorify Cornelius C. Roach. He’s such a worthy bug. I know he’d be the greatest student-body president ever!” the flea gushed.

  By the time the final bell rang, Cornelius had been voted president of Brown Barge Elementary! Elle fumed, “How can a whole school full of bugs forget all the misery that bully caused? How can everyone suddenly like such a cruel cockroach?”

  Cornelius for Mayor

  Each day Number 1 and Number 2 brought more and more Butterfly Bombers games to give out for free. By Monday morning every bug at Brown Barge Elementary—every student, teacher, and administrator—had played the amazing video game. Even the janitor hid in the maintenance closet and played all day long, causing an unfortunate shortage of toilet paper in the bathrooms.

  Butterfly Bombers was all anyone talked about. In history, students learned about Each day Number 1 and Number 2 brought more and more bombs. In art class, they painted butterflies. In gym, they practiced flying—even the bugs that didn’t have wings!

  As far as they knew, Elle and Eugene were the only bugs that hadn’t played it yet. Poor Fred couldn’t pull himself away!

  “I’m fine,” he told Eugene. “I just love the game; that’s all. It’s so much cooler than Sewer Invaders. I’m already on level three.”

  Elle groaned. “Big deal. You’ve been playing it nonstop!”

  Eugene added, “Don’t you realize you’re letting our enemy hypnotize you?”

  Fred shrugged. “Cornelius isn’t so bad. Why hold his past against him? The roach has become really nice lately.”

  Eugene and Elle had both noticed that Cornelius no longer bullied the smaller bugs at Brown Barge. Instead, everyone just gave him whatever he wanted.

  “Take my lunch, please,” offered Andy.

  Eugene stared. Andy was one hungry ant. And now he was happily donating his tray full of food to the cockroach?

  “Here, I did your homework for you, Cornelius,” said Charlie Cricket.

  Mrs. Tiger Moth gave Cornelius As on all his assignments just for putting his name on his paper.

  In gym class, Coach Caterpillar made the roach captain of the football team.

  Eugene raised his feeler. “Um, Coach, Cornelius doesn’t even play football.”

  Coach Caterpillar replied, “He does now!”

  Coach was gone, just like the rest of the adults. Crazy Cockroach wanted to turn Stinkopolis into his own playground. The fate of the whole dump—and the world—now rested on the wings of one superhero and his plucky little sister.

  Eugene invited Elle to join him in the dirty diaper. “This place is cool!” she exclaimed. “Could use a Ping-Pong table and maybe a fridge,” she added.

  Eugene sighed. “Kind of a sore point. Why don’t we focus on finding a solution to the hypnosis?”

  Elle suggested, “Let’s try chanting spell-breaking sayings, like abracadabra wallackajam, candied yam, beaver dam!”

  “Nonsense. We need science!” Eugene exclaimed. Using Fred as a subject, he tried several methods of ending the hypnotic state.

  Elle wasn’t impressed. “Why would jumping jacks work?”

  Eugene panted. “Fred loves jumping jacks. I thought if I started he’d join in and try to beat me.”

  At school, Elle tried clapping right in front of her hypnotized friends’ eyes. Everyone just laughed at her.

  Adele Aphid swore, “We all like Cornelius because he’s cool!”

  Eugene stared in wonder one day in the cafeteria as Cornelius let Fred sit next to him. Super Fly used all his super senses, but he had to admit Crazy Cockroach didn’t do anything suspicious, unless you count sharing his scab sandwich.

  Fred said, “Maybe nothing’s going on. Maybe the bully bug just got tired of being nasty.”

  After school, instead of practicing super-hero moves, playing Sewer Invaders, or otherwise hanging out, Fred went home. Super Fly felt as if he’d lost his pest friend.

  That night on TV, Eugene and Elle saw a new commercial. It featured the horribly smiling face of Brown Barge Elementary’s worst bully. The siblings turned to each other in horror and exclaimed in unison, “Cornelius for mayor?”

  Elle scoffed. “A fourth grader can’t get elected. And how does an elementary school kid pay for a TV commercial?”

  “From years of stealing lunch money!” Eugene replied.

  Super Fly sensed the fiend’s plan was possible. “Today student council president, tomorrow mayor of Stinkopolis, and by Tuesday . . .”

  Super Fly suddenly knew what Crazy Cockroach wanted. He knew what all the plans on the drawing board meant.

  Eugene announced, “Cornelius is taking over the world—not with an army of robots, but with brainwashing! He’s creating an army of zombies to do his bidding!”

  Roach Domination

  Super Fly flew next door to confront Cornelius. Hogging half the dirty diaper was bad enough. But taking over the world . . . that was going too far!

  Crazy Cockroach grinned, laughing maniacally. “You’ll never be able to prove it! Besides, it’s too late. I’m getting orders from all over the world for my new Butterfly Bombers game. It’s spreading faster than a fire in a greasy diner.”

  The royal roach finally ended his rant, “Soon enough they’ll make me king bug of the earth!”

  Crazy Cockroach opened the door to show Super Fly his pest friend sitting with Number 1 and Number 2 in front of a Bug Box, playing Butterfly Bombers. If this fiendish super roach could turn Fred against the cause of insect justice . . .

  Super Fly did the only thing a hero could do. He offered, “Let’s end this once and for all; bug against bug, fly against roach.”

  Crazy Cockroach laughed in his face. Super Fly could smell the rancid cottage cheese he’d had for lunch.

  “I outsmarted you!” Cornelius cackled. “I beat you with my superior brain! Don’t be a sore loser!”

  For the first time since he’d become Super Fly, Eugene felt deeply afraid. Was Cornelius’s brain really superior? Could Super Fly defeat the villain again—or would Stinkopolis and the world fall?

  Eugene felt very alone. This was the kind of moment when Fantastic Flea would say something encouraging, or at least confusing.

  Super Fly suddenly knew that without his sidekick,
he couldn’t defeat Crazy Cockroach. Eugene had to find some way to get Fred back and end that rotten roach’s reign once and for all!

  After a fortifying supper of prime poo, Super Fly felt inspired, energized, and ready for the quest. Then something horrible happened.

  Before searching for a way to save his side-kick, Eugene planned to say good night to his little sister. Elle didn’t answer his knock.

  Eugene knocked again. Had she fallen asleep? He knocked a third time before turning the knob. Colored lights flickered in one corner of the room. Elle was staring at a screen full of beautiful butterflies.

  Super Fly screamed, “Nooooooo! Not Elle! Not Elle too!”

  The Big Contest

  Eugene knew science. He also knew cartoons. And he knew that sometimes the only way to beat someone is to join them in whatever it is they’re doing.

  So Super Fly devoted his brilliant brain to creating his own video game to break the roach’s spell. Thanks to being 9,000 times more brilliant than the average fly (really ought to patent the Ultimo!), Eugene took only one night to devise a game so great and so addictive that it would be even more gotta-play than Butterfly Bombers.

  At dawn, Eugene ran one final test on his masterpiece: than Roach Raid. The new game was Bug Box ready, and his new plan would soon unfold!

  Before the first bell, the halls of Brown Barge Elementary School always swarmed with bugs. Eugene addressed the crowd, inviting them all to a video-game contest after school the following day.

  He posted flyers all over Stinkopolis. Soon everyone was talking about “the biggest event at the dump in years!”

  Since the whole town had been dropping big butterfly bombs lately, they expected to play Cornelius’s game. Instead, Eugene gave every bug a copy of Roach Raid.

  As soon as the final bell rang, the whole school started walking, crawling, creeping, and flying down to the dump.

  Super Fly couldn’t believe his multifaceted eyes. It seemed like every bug in Stinkopolis had gathered by the thousands. Kids, parents, teachers, police bugs, fire bugs, big and little, parasites and queen bees.

  So far, so good! Eugene spotted Fred among the video-game zombies playing Butterfly Bombers over and over.

  Super Fly’s plan had only one problem. No one would stop playing Butterfly Bombers long enough to even try Roach Raid!

  Eugene glanced at one zombie’s log-on screen: 100,000 bugs were flapping their digital wings at the whim of that crazy roach.

  Just then Cornelius emerged from a hidden cave perched high atop the dump. He returned to the dump dressed as Crazy Cockroach.

  Eugene knew it was time to turn into Super Fly! Shedding his glasses and putting on his stain-resistant cape, Eugene became a hero 9,000 times more amazing than the average fly.

  He flew straight for Crazy Cockroach! But before Super Fly could land a blow, Cornelius commanded his 100,000 players to “ATTACK!”

  Super Fly considered the obedient swarm. He was worse than outnumbered: he was 91,000 bugs short of a fair fight!

  If ever a hero needed a sidekick, Super Fly sure needed Fred. But like most of Stinkopolis, Fred had turned into a video zombie, and Elle was nowhere to be found!

  Eugene wanted to find his little sister and save his friend, but first he had to fight off a horde of hypnotized bees and wasps! Stingers poked and stabbed. Super Fly was fast, but speed was no match for the cruel hunters. Swollen with poison, Super Fly finally passed out.

  Crazy Cockroach had devised the perfect deathtrap for his enemy. Zombie bugs placed poor Super Fly on a giant piece of sticky fly-paper. The flypaper floated atop a lily pad in the middle of the murky pond at the end of the dump. How long before Super Fly became a hungry frog’s tasty treat?

  While the hero lay helpless, the villain’s zombie empire grew. Each moment, more and more bugs became addicted to fly Bombers. Crazy Cockroach watched the number of log-ons grow. Soon . . . soon . . . all the bugs would be hooked on dropping pretty colors, and he would control the world!

  Fly Girl

  Since Elle was even more stubborn than the average little sister, she had enough will-power to resist the beautiful butterflies. (That—and because Mom made her “shut that noisy thing off.”)

  Realizing she was hungry, Elle opened the fridge and looked straight at the slice of key lime pie covered in warning signs.

  Now she was both hungry and curious. Having added up all the clues, Elle guessed this pie (the Ultimo 6-9000, Patent 1234555, filed with the United Insects Patent Office) had caused her brother to become the superhero known as Super Fly.

  She figured this tasty dessert would either transform her into a superhero . . . or at the very least make a nice snack. Since Eugene wasn’t around to stop her, Elle took a bite of the precious pastry!

  Within six seconds, the second grader was 9,000 times smarter, faster, better at everything. Elle had suddenly become the superhero known as FLY GIRL!

  Elle had read enough of Eugene’s comics to know that powers alone couldn’t make a hero. She needed . . . a super awesome outfit!

  Elle always had a keen fashion sense. So it didn’t take her long to pull together something that said cool, capable, and I make this cape look good. Fly Girl was . . . fly!

  Name, check. Outfit, check. Elle didn’t hesitate to decide on Fly Girl’s first mission. She had to save her brother! With 9,000 times her usual intuition, Elle suddenly knew exactly where to find Eugene.

  Fly Girl flew to the murky pond 9,000 times faster than she’d ever flown before. And a good thing too, because she found Super Fly surrounded by 101 frogs eager to make a meal of him.

  Weak, dizzy, and swollen from all those wasp and hornet stings, Super Fly simply couldn’t break free from the flypaper! The helpless hero wondered, “Is this the end of Super Fly?”

  Then something almost faster than he could see swooped over the lily pad.

  SQUISH! SLOSH! PLOP! Frogs flopped everywhere as Fly Girl flew down to rescue Eugene. Elle carried him off just before a giant bullfrog could snag Super Fly with his long tongue.

  Eugene didn’t need to be 9,000 times smarter to recognize Elle. “You’re . . .”

  “A superhero!” his sister squealed. “Isn’t it great?”

  Eugene looked down at the angry bullfrog. “I guess so. And I guess you ate a certain patented piece of pie.”

  Fly Girl grinned.

  Reverse Engineering

  The two flew back to the dirty diaper to plan their next move. Eugene felt frustrated. “If only those zombies had played one round of Roach Raid. It’s ten times as addictive as Butterfly Bombers.”

  “Let that go,” Elle said. “We just have to think of another way to reverse the hypnosis . . .” Elle’s voice trailed off. “What if we reverse the programming, somehow get Butterfly Bombers to play backward, at least the part that’s casting this zombie spell.”

  Super Fly had to admit Fly Girl’s idea had merit. As the only two bugs in all of Stinkopolis who hadn’t spent the majority of the recent past staring at a screen with vacant, obedient eyes, the super siblings didn’t have too many options.

  “I think I know how to reverse the programming of the game,” Eugene began. “But how can we break into Crazy Cockroach’s lair a third time without making him suspicious?”

  Eugene didn’t want to risk wearing the Pest Pizza delivery hat and T-shirt again.

  Elle suggested a different disguise. She returned from her room wearing her Insect Scout uniform. “No one can resist our stink patties.”

  It was true! Eugene’s mouth parts watered just at the thought of those gooey, gross cookies. They were disgustingly delicious. He hated to put his little sister in danger, but Eugene reminded himself of two things. Not only was Elle getting to be a big bug now, she was also Fly Girl!

  Ding-dong. Crazy Cockroach no longer expected his henchbugs to answer the diaper’s door. Number 1 and Number 2 were as hooked on Butterfly Bombers as their companion, Fred.

  Cornelius opened the doo
r, and Elle greeted him, “Insect Scout Cookies for sale. All the most repulsive flavors! Who can resist Used Toilet Paper Twist? Can I put you down for a dozen boxes of the Snot-Covered Dung Drops?” Elle expertly continued the pitch while peering farther into the diaper.

  There sat Fred, still mindlessly dropping digital color bombs. He wasn’t leaping or flipping or babbling or Fredding at all!

  Elle couldn’t care much about the Dungs. They had been brainless zombies long before the video game existed.

  Crazy Cockroach wouldn’t commit to buying a dozen boxes of cookies. “That’s too much. I have to watch my abdomen.” He changed the subject. “Would you like to play a video game?”

  The Insect Scout hesitated. Cornelius stared at her. “You look familiar . . .”

  Elle quickly said, “We flies all look alike.” Then she added, “No thanks, I’m not really into video games. Gotta fly! Bye-bye.” The Insect Scout left, and the second part of the Flysteins’ plan began.

  When his doorbell rang again, Crazy Cockroach was surprised to see Super Fly! Cornelius blinked in disbelief. “Why aren’t you at the pond feeding the frogs?”